"You’re born with a ton of fucks to give, so you spend them like a kid with a credit card. You give fucks about your friends, about your grades, about your fashion sense, about strangers’ opinions. You give way too many fucks about way too many things. You have so many. Then, as you get older, you have maybe 10 fucks per month, so you learn to budget them. You allocate fucks to family and career, but there aren’t enough fucks to give to the newest fads. Oh, someone at work has something they need my help with that’s outside my job title? I’ll do my best to allocate some fucks, but this month is pretty tight. Then, as you get even older, you’re down to 1-2 fucks per month, and those fucks are pretty damn precious. You give them to your family and your hobbies and your job, and that’s kinda it. It’s not your fault – fucks expire too quickly. I would’ve liked to save my fucks from when I was younger but I can’t. Then, you hit fuck insolvency. You’re getting like 1 fuck a year, and you have to make it last. So you go without, and even previously fuck-worthy things, you just can’t give a fuck. Some people run out really quickly, Some people have a fuck trust fund that pays out a decent amount even into old age. But at some point, the fuck faucet runs completely dry and you’re out of fucks to give. It’s just basic Fuckonomics."

-Unknown English Teacher (via swarthyvillain)

I’ve never read anything more fucking true in my whole fucking life. 

Fuck.

(via unicornempire)

Holy moly. 

(via parcelsandcomfits)

itsb0sstime:

georgia-dream:

if your boyfriend is your best friend, you’re doing it right.

if your boyfriend is your only friend, you’re doing it wrong.

THANK. YOU.

zapidos:

My little brother and I were swimming and my dad walked out and said “it’s trash day tomorrow you know what that means” and my brother looked at me dead in the eyes and said “it’s time for you to go.”

mockeryd:

thebrightstar:

confessionsofacastmember:

" She’s SHRUNKKKKK" 

O. M. G.

I feel better now. I needed something cute like this.

mockeryd:

thebrightstar:

confessionsofacastmember:

" She’s SHRUNKKKKK" 

O. M. G.

I feel better now. I needed something cute like this.

that-one-narshe-in-the-bushes:

brittonius:

everyone. everywhere. everyday

ITS SAD BECAUSE ITS TRUE

collagens:

when the teacher you hate makes a joke

image

meatbicyclevevo:

meatbicyclevevo:

What’s the definition of a will?

Come on guys it’s a dead giveaway

"why are you so shy"
literally the dumbest question to ask a shy person ever (via gnarly)